A nearly decade long conversation with myself.
Attacked from wake to rest, a persistence and will I wish I could use, its ownership belongs to another.
All this time, and I am as ill equipped as the day it started.
The attacks disguised in my own voice trick me on multiple fronts the worst trick is confusing chemical derangement for an individual, an opponent.
So much wasted time.
How I tried to reason with it, in hopes of asylum, a brief piece.
The benevolent amalgamation of disorders stands firm, unwavering, unflinching in the face of logic and reason, completely unsatisfied with the plethora of proof provided.
Memories play, I’m told they’re wrong.
A simple moment turns into a grueling argument.
“I cannot.”
“I cannot.”
As I say it, I feel the urge to apologize.
I wish I could win, could make it stop.
Denkender 